Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Wishing Tree

The Wishing Tree

Between one thing and another I've spent the last few weeks in a depression of the capital D variety, the kind they make drug commercials about. You know the ones: "Take our pills and you'll either feel happy again or die of a side effect. (We know you don't care which. Because hey. You're nuts.)" Those commercials.

I can usually shake myself out of these episodes before it gets so bad, but this one was a big black beast. Just getting out of bed, putting one foot in front of the other, and not crying in public took everything I had. And sometimes I couldn't even manage that much.

As always, though, it passed eventually. I think the sun coming back had a whole lot to do with it. My internal weather seems to mirror that of the day outside. I don't know if that's common or not.

At any rate, the endless, colorless, grey-grim winter was about to do me in, and a sunny day was just the medicine I needed. Revived and filled with the new light, I pulled on my hiking boots and squished my way down to the pond to see what might be stirring there.

At the edge of the water, I came eye to eye with a bright stand of red wild rose hips, freed of their icy coats. Birds sang here and there in the trees. It's a miracle that any of them survive an Indiana winter, but there they were nonetheless. From below the ice palm-sized tadpoles, almost frogs already, wriggled cautiously to the surface, touched the air, and darted back into the darkness.

I had seen the broken tree across the water many times, of course. But I really saw it for the first time that day. It was bowed down and broken in the prime of its life, but still it did not fail. In the way of all trees, it found a way back to the sun, back to life. And there it stands today, straight and tall.

So. Things change. Storms break us. But there's always a way back to the light.


~ Lor said...

Those commercials scare the heck out of me. Glad to hear you are feeling better and getting out. Sometimes that's the best prescription for what ails you.

donna said...

Inositol is a great supplement and relatively cheap and boosts serotonin levels quite nicely. I used to have to take mood stabilizers but have gotten completely away from them and now just take Inositol. Might be worth a try.

JC said...

Your tree looks like it's being cheered on... I'm cheering you on :-)

spookydragonfly said...

I feel the same way about the weather...my disposition changes dramatically if the sun is out. I'm hoping to be lifted out of my slump in these next few days of sun and warmer temps. The sun is good for the soul! Glad your feeling better. Love your capture!

Anonymous said...

Oh I am sorry...I am glad that you felt better enough to get outside. It always helps me to feel a bit more more hopeful..

MyMaracas said...

Lor, me too. I've never used an antidepressant, and I don't plan to. Better the devil you know, as they say.

Donna, I'll check that out. Thanks for the tip!

JC, Thanks! Cheers are good. Very good. :-)

Spooky, thanks for lettting me know I'm not alone in the weather thing. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. I hope you'll take some time to go soak up the rays when they come.

Michelle, I appreciate that. It does make things more hopeful, doesn't it?

And thank you all for taking the time to stop by and comment. I hope you know how much it means to me.

Kraxpelax said...
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